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A Matter of Trust


We were in what I called ‘the projects’. We had arrived early afternoon, joined the queue for them to search our car for illicit alcohol or drugs and waited hours to gain entry (without being searched). We were finally directed to this treeless, shadeless field to pitch our tents among hundreds of others. A bad start that would not get any better. We were at Pete’s Ridge inaugural New Year Music festival. The advertising had been rich with promise, great music, beautiful site, a river to swim in (it was muddy and struggled to cover my toes), organic food, delicious treats, creative side shows. We could have been forgiven for expecting it would be a fun and festive place to ring in the New Year with old and new found friends. When we sought out food, there was so much less than the promised fare. The best we could divine were bad tacos. The music was as poorly timetabled and most venues hardly covered in the hot Australian sun. The toilets were rarely placed and ecologically smelly. The sideshows were sparse and lame. My assessment was they couldn’t organise a pissup in a brewery.  It was their first year so forgiveness could be freely granted but I was sure I would never return and haven’t. I hear they’ve upped their game but too many failed promises to win me back.

No one will disagree that trust is the cornerstone of every relationship: in business, life and love. Trust is dependent on reliability, consistency and dependability.

When you form trusting relationships everything just works. You get things done with what seems like little effort: at home, school, work, business and in love. You can freely ask for what you need. There’s a healthy give and take, a fair exchange, a win win. Everyone walks away feeling they got a good deal whether it is music festival, a chat, dinner, team meeting, project, business deal or romance. Everyone feels filled up. No one feels shortchanged. There’s no need for checks and balances or mental tit for tat, manipulation or manoeuvring. It’s honest, straightforward, direct, efficient, effective and generous.

You say you’ll do something and you do it. You say you are something and you are. You promise to deliver something and you do.

Simple isn’t it. It why you get hired and stay hired. It’s why you have friends and stay friends. It’s why your brand will find devotees that tell everyone they know about you, and well other brands that don’t deliver, well they just disappear. 

Their things aren’t as they have been presented. Stuff doesn’t get done, people don’t turn up. We get disappointed and then doubtful. We get stressed and then suspicious. We get anxious and then less forthcoming. We inch forward and then back track. We sidle and creep. We manipulate and undermine. We hold back and are cagey. We talk about each other and not to each other. We shut down and gossip. We form factions and isolate. We blame and we name. The consequences are getting stuck and stale, procrastination and fear, over thinking and underperforming in our projects: stunting and stopping our professional and personal growth.

Without trust everything falls apart. We can’t depend on anything or on anyone. Your business and mine is based on trust. What you can rely on me for and what I can rely on you to deliver.

  1. What can your customers/boss/partner/children rely on you for?

  2. What will you show up for again and again?

  3. Is what you are delivering what you think it is or is it something else?

  4. If I recommend you to others will you show up for them?

‘Honesty is when you play a game. You play a game face to face with another person, not behind their back. What you cannot face has no grace. What you cannot honour has no honour.’ Yogi Bhajan

And because we are all in this together, please pass this link to someone in your life whom you trust and trusts you, or someone who is seeking love/work/connection but not trusting enough of themselves to find it with others? or send it to someone with whom you want to build trust.

And before you go here’s a fun flashback with Billy Joel’s A Matter of Trust

Always Love


Image via Pinterest

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