Updated: Jun 28, 2020
Peacocks eat thorns and plants that other animals reject, then through digesting them, peacocks transform these poisons into the extraordinary beauty that is their vibrant plumage.
When I work with clients they want to stand out. They want to differentiate themselves from others offering similar services or products.
They always think their expertise is about what they are qualified to do, what they are trained to do. They feel this is their badge of honour. It is what helped them earn the status they enjoy and the positions they have held. They find it much harder when I suggest they need to claim and own their unique gifts. Many have no idea they have any unique gifts to even claim or use. Yet, it’s precisely these gifts that make you so valuable.
Without claiming their uniqueness they will never step into their power and full self expression. They will never make that transition from worker to wizard or from beige to brilliance, accountant to business architect, designer to image crafter.
They will never own their own expertise.
It’s through fully embodying who you are that you learn to back yourself to deliver the results for your clients. It it through repeating this you come to trust your own expertise. It is only when you trust yourself you can come to trust others.
Working with clients through my InsideOut Practice they become aware it is they who are stopping themselves realise their dreams and their potential. It’s their own doubts, fears and self-imposed limitations that get in their way.
They are afraid what others will think.
They are afraid they will fail.
They are afraid they will seem arrogant.
They are afraid they will become isolated if they are too successful.
They come to see that they are their biggest saboteurs. They see their blindspots. It’s only when they acknowledge this, that they begin to step into the truth of who they are, so they can truly apply those qualifications, skills and expertise to get they have worked so long and hard to acquire.
This ‘blindness’ is true of men but more so of women.
We have been told for so many years that to succeed you need to get educated, set your sights on some goals and then head down, arse up and go after them until you win. You must fit in and toe the party line. Be better than others, protect what you know, work hard, work long, compete.
Men and women have inherited different stories. The male archetype are told they are the warriors, the providers, the leaders, the money earners and the protectors. The female archetype is seen as nurturers, mothers, loving, kind caring and more recently that they can have it all – work, love, children, perfect bodies, perfect hair, travel, sex goddess, gourmet chef – and more. They are both told that what gets the work and keeps you employed are the degrees and qualifications, what my Mum would describe as ‘decorating the mahogany’. Women have now been mirroring this same male archetype in much the same way for the past 50+ years. For God’s sake many of them even wear suits to work. I propose this model isn’t working and hasn’t for a long time but that’s for another blog post.
Are you blinded by your qualifications and experience and completely blind to your unique gifts and talents?
Don’t misunderstand me, qualifications and experience are important. They are what gets you in the room and gives you the skills to deliver the tangible results for your clients, however, it is the unique mix of who you are and how you apply those skills and the wisdom you have gathered through the successes and failures in your work and life that gets you the job.
It is this alchemical mix that makes your ideal client choose to work with you.
Who you are is the sum of all your experiences: good and bad, happy and sad, failures and successes. It’s what you’ve learned from your failures and applied to your next project that has value. It’s your point of view. It’s your values and how you lead from them. It where you dig your feet into the sand hands on hip, embodying your values. It’s what drives what I call your gravitational pull. The thing you could research, talk about and teach for hours and days. It’s the thing that lights you up.
It’s how you inspire others to want what you are having.
Do you lead from who you are or just what you do?
Do you believe you are still hired for your original technical competence?
Do you know what your unique gifts are?
Do you own and value what you help others do?
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