“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ― Rumi
This is true for all we wish to create in our lives.
The challenge is not making
our wants, needs and desires real
but to clear all the obstacles
we have and will place on our paths
on the way to making them happen.
We will place obstacles, barriers, walls, for god’s sake battalions, stubbed toes, road trains and entire countries
in our way so we may not even see that
what we dream of is sitting right in front of us. Big duh!
We will push it away because
we don’t believe it is possible.
We will tell ourselves countless brilliant stories
about how it is too good to be true.
We will test it to the point of obfuscation,
We will even destroy it. Kaboom!
I have learned this lesson the hard way many times. Please learn from my mistakes. I’ve made plenty:-)
So on this Valentine’s Day
Do you know the kind of love you really want?
And what obstacles are you placing in your way to creating it? You can do the clearing exercise below to really feel into it. I’d love to hear what emerges.
Do you want a great love
but don’t trust this new partner
who keeps doing what they say they will do?
Oh dear, someone who is their word.
Do you expect it to be difficult
and are suspicious if it is easy?
Exploding all your social, family and cultural conditioning.
Do you create dramas to set them up for failure?
Keep your tantrums to yourself. You’re not 3.
Do you drown them in your neediness?
47 texts before 7:00 am to check.
Try to go into your neutral mind and observe it.
Allow it to unfold.
Don’t name it, don’t label it.
Let it become what it will.
If you are not meeting a great love.
Do you love yourself?
Unconditionally. Even when you are the antichrist.
Accept yourself? chocolate snaffling, cellulite, crooked nose and all
Your light and your dark? Nice and nasty,
Can you be with yourself in every moment? Especially when you are not good enough company for yourself what do you mind anyone else
Can you release judgment of yourself, of others?
What barriers are you putting in the way of accepting yourself?
Watch your thoughts and words.
Are they kind and loving or criticising and judging?
Observe your inner talk.
Can you accept your body, your circumstances,
your work, your family, your friends, your beauty,
your joy, your sadness, your own love?
Once we begin to accept ourselves then we can open to others. Compare and contrast leaves the room.
Once we learn to love and accept ourselves
in every moment, cranky and crazy
fun and fabulous, serious and intense, and more,
we begin to fill up with love
and then overflow with it so we can give it generously to others.
When you feel resistance to anything in your life
you can release it in an instant.
It’s as simple as feeling into it.
Any emotion fully felt is bliss.
Truly try it.
Our habit can be to suppress feelings
or emotions that make us uncomfortable
by changing what we are doing,
ignoring it or pretending it is not happening.
We’re encouraged to do this. We learn it very early and practice it often and too well.
The dangers of creating this stress
has been well documented
and the inherent ‘dis’ ease it causes in the body.
As Krisnamurthi so well described that
when we do not allow emotions to completely flow,
we store them in our nervous system.
Not good. Not good.
Next time this occurs can you
allow yourself to go into the feeling.
Here’s how . . .
Breathe into it completely, wholly
and notice where it is in your body.
It will only take an instant (or two),
so no excuses you don’t have time right now
(Imagine me waving away your excuses 🙂
Keep breathing into it until you feel you are at the source of it
whether with a situation or a person.
Bring your attention to your heart
and open it, bringing this energy of love to the emotion.
Breathe into this heart energy
and allow it to merge with the uncomfortable emotion.
Ask your body to release the resistance.
Begin to dissolve it with your love..
Keep doing this until you feel it is clear.
Then just rest in it for a moment,
feeling its beauty.
The greeks have a word for this that
anything fully felt becomes its opposite.
Feel and follow your bliss.
And as always rinse and repeat
when you next encounter resistance to something.
And I can assure you there’s always something else.
Sending you beauty, truth, lightness and love
this Valentine’s Day in every moment whether
alone or coupled, with family or with friends.
And please share after all we are all in this together and every needs more love every day.