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The relentless pursuit of more

Updated: Jul 19, 2022

There was no one about as I rushed through the market and then slowed as I noticed my destination was still closed. Mahmood, my stone man, like me was often late. As I waited, a man turned the corner, unexpectedly carrying a cup of chai. Acknowledging each other, we smiled and exchanged hellos. I learned the chai wallah had just closed. As soon as I asked I realised this was a silly question. It was Ramadan. Nothing would be open again until at least sunset.

He held the chai out, offering it to me. I knew he would have nothing until at least sunset but I could get chai at the hotel. We relayed ‘No thank you.’ ‘Please.’ I refused again thanking him for his generosity but he wouldn't take no for an answer. ‘It would be my privilege.’ I realised I needed to accept. I thanked him and never saw him again that day or any other.

There is a spiritual axiom that, it is in the giving we receive. And this man’s pleasure at my acceptance was inspiring and humbling.

Today is New Moon in Taurus.

Taurus is the second sign in the zodiac. It follows the 'who am I?' of Aries with, what do I have?

At first glance this looks like titles - stuff, work, land, partnership, family, status and postcode.

And, depending on our level of consciousness we might stop there but looking a little deeper, we are always connected to the cosmos and all that is. The material realm is its mirror. As within so without, as above so below.

The past informs the present and the present sets up the future.

Based on what you have created is what you are enjoying or hating on right now: in your bank account, the chair you’re sitting on, the clothes you’re wearing, the health you’re enjoying, the sex you delighting in, the friendships, conversations and fun you’re having, the work you’re creating, what you're being paid and the place you’re doing it in …

Once upon a time in a land far away I spent a decade struggling with dull work until I chose design school which fed my gravitational pull to understand things more deeply and my creative impulse to make ideas real.

It took me a while longer to see that the essence of the work was guiding people to see their hidden gems to realise what most mattered to them.

Yet, despite the divination nature of my work, I still felt disconnected from my own creativity and spirit. I mostly ran my life through my get it done energy.

If I wanted something I went after it (I'm an Aries sun) and, mostly I got it but often discovered I didn’t want what I had worked hard to accomplish.

It became clear it was about the pursuit rather than the accomplishment. Boredom, restlessness, future tripping and NEXT were constant if uneasy companions.

Nothing, no place and no one was ever enough. I was in the relentless pursuit of more.

I couldn’t just be. I was much more aware of what was missing than everything I had - great work, family, friends, travel, properties. I hid behind what I accomplished (ego identity).

I could give and get but I hadn’t yet learned its polarity - receive.

I found it hard to ask for help. I wanted to do it all and fast, so I often did it alone. I often moved, travelled and adventured alone.

If I worked in teams I was mostly leading them, easily because I was an innately compassionate, playful and inspiring leader but always holding the vision, always doing more.

It had to recalibrate but first I had to crack. The fissure came in the form of a relationship, painfully breaking my heart until I could no longer convince myself the problem was outside me.

Finally I had to stop long enough to discern who I was, what I valued and what really mattered.

As I journeyed inwards I learned 3 things

  1. our differentiation naturally emerges through integration not separation.

  2. we can travel fast alone but to create anything great we need to do it together.

  3. the commitment to being who you are is the greatest value you can bring to the world.

Your mess is your medicine and your magic is often completely mysterious to you.

So before you plant your seeds this New Moon or whenever you are reading this, here's a little help with your what do I have and value audit?

Do you know, accept and own your gifts, skills and resources?

Do you have fun with them or do they weigh you down with responsibility?

Do you love who you are as you do your work or does it overwhelm and stress you (we're all intimate with our stress monster)?

Do you fully embody the dance with yourself, your partner, children, friends or do you censor your joy because of what others will think?

Do you delight or feel undeserving of your desires, pleasure and dreams?

Do you appreciate your health, wealth, beautiful body and sense of humour?

Are you overly politically correct, looking to be offended or strident about one belief or another?

Do you love your home, bed, pillows, clothes, the glasses you drink from, the computer you work on, the garden you sit in……

New Moons are seed planting time, you then take action to nurture those ideas into realisation. New Moon intentions bear fruit in six months time at their Full Moon (Taurus Full Moon in November).

Embodying what resources you have and enjoying those will direct you towards what you want to focus on creating in the next six months.

If you need help book a clarity session here and if you want to understand and apply design thinking to take a human centred approach to almost any problem in your work and life check out my workshop

Until soon

image from Luuk Notten via unsplash

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