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Do you know what you want?

What do you want?

It seems like such a benign question, or is it? We all know what we want don’t we? Isn’t that why everyone is working so hard? To get what they want, what they really really want.*

Remarkable then that people are often rendered silent by this question. They reply with anything from Messina gelato to a pair of shoes but when they scratch a little deeper it’s relationship, house, job, children or travel.

Ask anyone who’s had or have a great relationship, stellar career, great kids, dream house, climbed Everest, circumnavigated the globe several times: these are just steps on the way.

I ask but what’s the big audacious dream, the thing that drives you, that keeps you going when life tosses you the grit and grime that we all face at one time or another? What’s the thing that makes for a consistently fulfilling and engaging life? The one you want to be remembered for, the thing you want people to say at your final festive gathering aka funeral (mine will be at least). They become even more stunned into silence. It’s not that they haven’t thought about this. It’s more they feel they are not invited to think about it, believe it’s possible. Curiously the conversation often then returns to a childhood dream.

It’s so rare that anyone responds ‘This is what I want . . . ‘ with confidence and certainty. On the rare occasion they do, they are usually well on their way to getting it, being it, living it.

To get anything you want or be anything, it’s good to get as clear as you can what it is you want and who you want to be when you get there.

Otherwise you won’t know what tools you need, what actions you need to take, the people who can help you get there or most importantly, you’ll have no idea if you actually managed to pull it off.

It’s like the dog that chases its tail. He’s forgotten that it was a car he was chasing. He’s so focused on the action he’s lost sight of what he wants. 

When we’re that close to what we are doing. Mistakes or chaos isn’t too far away.

The problem with grand ideas, big dreams aren’t themselves in seeing and taking the steps that close the gap between the concept and your present reality; while always keeping the end in sight.

My big dream is a creativity centre that helps people create their own dreams and support them as they take the steps to make them real, whether it’s creating an integrated business or life. It’s designing your business and life from the inside out.

You first create it in the ether and then realise it in the material world. You then remove everything between you and it to allow it to happen.

You get out of your own way. You come face to face with the beliefs, habits, blocks, obstacles; perceived and real, humongous and tiny you encounter on the way. Your ‘thing’ can be as grand as changing the world or as small as bringing a smile to one person each day. What I’ve learned is when you hold that feeling in your body and take action towards it: the world seems to part like the Red Sea to help you achieve it. It’s as though by taking action you clear a path in front of you, one step at a time.

Everything is simpler because you know who you are and what matters to you.

And the dream house, great friends, great relationship, trip around the world and all the other material things are bonuses along the way. You don’t have to give anything up to become who you are. Confusion becomes clarity and you choose the things that matter.

So two questions that will give you a fair idea of what you want really, really want. And here’s the Spice Girls for good measure.

  1. What really matters to you? These are your values, your guiding light. Download a worksheet here if you aren’t clear on yours

  2. Take away all the fluff and stuff. Who do you want to be? What do you want to be known for?

Oh that’s three. I’m Irish. We like ‘t(h)ings’ in ‘t(h)rees’.

Until soon. Always love


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